my monday night at the provo police department.

Before I delve into the police department story (don't worry, I didn't do anything illegal), 

let me tell you about my weekend. It was great. (Hence happy Calvin.)

First, I got to go home and chill with my family. 

Second, I didn't do any homework all weekend long. Not quite sure how smart that was. ;)

Third, I went skiing with my cousins at Deer Valley. (Dear Snow, why didn't you come one day earlier?)

Fourth, I ate real food cooked by my mother.

Fifth, I drank hot chocolate on a snowy day. 

Sixth, I watched a movie with my family...

Which, by the way, was hilarious. Not the movie. Actually the movie was intense and slightly creepy. I got it because the names Jude Law, Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, and Marion Cotillard were all on the box. Sounds good, right? The movie was about some crazy pig-bat disease (don't ask) that starts spreading around the world like a modern-day outbreak of smallpox. Anyway, back to the funny story. Earlier that day Matthew got sick, so when we went downstairs to watch the movie, we found him dying on the couch. Halfway through the movie we're all freaking out because everyone's dying of this infectious disease. Suddenly I realize that Matthew's sick, too. I yell, "Oh no! Matthew's contagious!" Then Peter and James are like "Stay away from us! We don't want to get sick and die like Kate Winslet." Then my dad realizes he's sitting on Matthew's t-shirt so he jumps up and rushes to the bathroom to wash his hands. The whole rest of the night we'd occasionally yell "contagion!" (that's the name of the movie) and look at Matthew with terror. He just rolled his eyes. It was awesome. 

..................................

Now, on to my crazy night at the Provo Police Department. 

Last week in the mail I got all the visa stuff I need to fill out for my mission. And I discovered that I also had to get FBI cleared (including fingerprinting). I'm not quite sure why. Anyway, I realize today that I need to get the FBI application in the mail asap because it takes them 6-8 weeks to process the information and if I don't get it done in time, I'm delayed entering the MTC by 6 weeks. Which would be super lame. So, I looked around the interwebs and discovered that I can get my fingerprints done at the Provo Police Department. I rush over there at 5:30, thinking it wouldn't take to long. Hahahahahaha.

I arrive at the police department, and can't even find the door to go in. That should have been the first sign. Eventually, I find the door and walk in. To the right of me, I see this little reception room surrounded by glass with at least 10 people squeezed in there. And some of them look scary. I'm like, "That couldn't be where I get my fingerprints." So I walk down the hall until I find the receptionist desk and ask her where I get my fingerprints done. It's right back in that waiting room where I didn't want to go. Of course.

So, I go back in there and everyone just stares at me. I go up to the desk and the following conversation follows.

Officer: "What can I do for you?"

Me: "I need to get my fingerprints taken."

Officer: "Ok. I need some ID."

Me: "Here you go."

Officer: "Thanks. What's the reason for the fingerprints?"

Me: "FBI clearance."

Officer: "Ok. One second." [Leaves to go fill something out.] 

Random guy behind me: "Are you joining the FBI?!?!?!"

Me: "Um....nope."

[awkward pause]

Random guy: "So what are you doing??"

Me: "Going on a mission."

Random guy: "Oh, cool! That's weird that you have to get clearance."

Me: [courtesy laugh] "Yeah, I guess."

Then, I went and waited. And waited. And waited approximately 1.5 hours to get my fingerprints done. Fortunately, people watching in the police department kept me entertained. Here are some things I observed.

• A very mad guy complaining about the line. And I don't even know why, because he was ahead of me, people. Seriously.
• Some woman talking to an officer about this lady wanting her flat screen TV back. But the woman wouldn't give it to her unless she personally came to get it, because apparently there was a warrant out for the TV lady's arrest. Yes, it was a very confusing story. But it kept me entertained for 20 minutes. 
• A boy came up to me after getting fingerprinted and asked if I was going on a mission. I told him yes and then we both said where we were going. He was so happy and his happiness rubbed off on me and then I wasn't so impatient about waiting in the long line because, hey! I'm going on a mission. :)
• And finally, my favorite moment. A mom came in with her little son and they sat down next to me. The little kid sat there all quietly and then suddenly he starts singing at the top of his lungs, "Baby, baby, baby, oh! Baby, baby, baby, oh!....you'll always be mine!!!" His mom tells him to be quiet. I was shaking with laughter because how often do you hear a 3 year old break out into Justin Bieber? Personally, I thought he sounded better than Bieber. It was hilarious.

And that was my adventure at the Provo Police Department. Hopefully I won't have to visit there anytime soon.